Why Men and Mental Health Must Come First in Midlife
Entrepreneurs and founders are masters at building businesses. But too many of us hit midlife and realize the one thing we’ve neglected is our own minds. The emails get answered, the deals get closed, the team gets led, but inside, we’re running on fumes. Men and mental health is the conversation most of us avoid, but it’s also the foundation for rebuilding a life that actually works.
For centuries, cultures worldwide have used the four elements of nature—water, fire, wind, and earth—as symbols of human experience. In my own healing journey, they became a map: Water for the mind, Fire for the heart, Wind for the spirit, and Earth for the body. Over the next four posts, I’ll explore each one, starting here with Water – the mind.
Why Men Neglect Their Mental Fitness
Most men are experts at ignoring what’s going on between their ears. We tell ourselves to “man up,” keep grinding, and push through. The result? Stress, anxiety, and depression skyrocket while we pretend everything is fine. Studies show that men are far less likely to seek help than women, and the silence is killing us.
The biggest mental traps men fall into are settling instead of living richly, giving up on themselves, and convincing themselves that this is “just the way life is now.” We start coasting instead of choosing. That’s not resilience-that’s resignation.
Building Mental Muscle Isn’t Complicated. Here are 7 Steps.
The good news: mental strength isn’t reserved for monks or geniuses. It’s a skill set you can train, just like your body.
- Challenge your thoughts. Tools like CBT and REBT are basically mental strength training. In normal language: notice your automatic thoughts, ask if they’re true, and reframe them. “I blew that meeting, I’m a failure” becomes “I blew that meeting, but I’ve succeeded a hundred other times. I’ll adjust and try again.”
- Journal daily. Write down what’s circling in your head. Don’t edit. Just dump it on paper and get distance.
- Therapy. Not weakness, but an actual workout for your brain. A therapist helps you see patterns you’ve missed and holds you accountable for new ones. It’s brain gym.
- Reframe stress as training. Pressure isn’t proof you’re failing. It’s the weight on the bar that builds strength. Instead of asking, “Why me?” ask, “What’s this training me for?” Stress becomes fuel instead of fire damage.
- Upgrade your mental diet. Your brain eats whatever you feed it. Trade 20 minutes of doomscrolling for content that builds you up: a book that challenges you, a podcast that sharpens you, or a Foundry conversation that reminds you you’re not alone.
- Track your wins. Men are quick to catalogue failures and blind to progress. Keep a simple “proof log” where you write down one daily win, such as closing a deal, holding your temper, or making it to the gym. Stack enough of these, and you’ll have evidence that drowns out self-doubt.
- Guard the gate. Not everyone—or everything—deserves access to your thoughts. Audit your inputs: the people you spend time with, the accounts you follow, the news you consume. Protect your mind like it’s your most valuable asset. Because it is.
These are practical, repeatable ways men and mental health can move from a problem you avoid to a strength you build.
Stress Will Eat You Alive-Unless You Talk
When stress hits, most men bottle it up. We tell ourselves we’ll figure it out, or worse, we numb out with drinking, overwork, or scrolling. The truth? The fastest way to cut stress in half is to say it out loud.
Talk to someone you trust. A friend, a mentor, a coach. It doesn’t matter who, as long as you’re not carrying it alone. Silence is where stress grows teeth.
Mental Fitness Is About Choice, Not Perfection
For me, rebuilding my mind started with radical self-acceptance. That meant confronting the fact that for years, I lived with deep self-loathing. I was successful on paper, but running on fumes. Only when I chose to accept myself fully, even the parts I hated, did I start to rebuild.
That shift led to radical self-care. Not bubble baths or spa days, but actually fueling myself before pouring into everyone else. Finally, I could step into what I call radical self-actualization: becoming the best version of me, not just the busiest.
This wasn’t about becoming perfect. It was about choosing to live fully. That’s the real work of men and mental health.
Quick Wins to Start Today
If your mind feels like a battlefield right now, here are a few simple ways to begin:
- Five minutes of silence with your phone parked in another room.
- Write down one negative thought and reframe it.
- Share something you’ve been holding in with one person.
These aren’t huge moves. They’re small cracks in the armour that let the light in.
Why Water?
Water is powerful, but it’s also adaptable. It can crash, it can flow, it can carve rock over time. The mind is the same. Left stagnant, it breeds decay. Kept moving, it becomes a force that reshapes everything around it.
When we treat men and mental health as optional, we stagnate. When we treat it as foundational, we flow.
The Foundry
I built The Foundry because I know what it feels like to succeed in business while failing yourself. The men who gather here are ready to stop pretending, face their truth, and rebuild. If you’re a man in midlife looking for a brotherhood that gets it, I invite you to join us.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What are the 7 steps to better mental health for men?
A: They include reframing stress as training, upgrading your mental diet, journaling, therapy, talking it out, tracking wins, and guarding your headspace.
Q: Why do so many men struggle with mental health?
A: Because most of us were conditioned to stay silent, grind harder, and never show weakness. That silence breeds stress, anxiety, and burnout.
Q: How does building mental fitness help men in business?
A: A strong mind fuels better decision-making, sharper focus, and resilience under pressure—all essential for founders and entrepreneurs.
Q: What’s the first step men should take today?
A: Start small: pick one of the 7 steps—like journaling or tracking wins—and do it today. Progress beats perfection every time.
Eric Deschamps
Creator of The Foundry and Master Coach at rhapsodystrategies.com
Eric Deschamps helps high-performing men rebuild their lives from the inside out. The Foundry isn’t for every man. It’s for the ones ready to get honest, go deep, and do the work. If that’s you, join us here.